Do's & Don'ts: How to Help Someone Struggling with Their Mental Health

Just as your state of physical health is never stagnant, the state of your mental health can also change. Some people assume that mental health is only associated with those who have illnesses such as schizophrenia or anxiety disorders. The truth is that we all, at some point in time, struggle with our mental health. Whether you work outside the mental health industry, are enrolled in a BSN to PMHNP online program, or an expert on the matter, struggling with your mental health is a normal experience of the human condition. It is very valid and deserves attention, no matter the severity of the symptoms present. 

We can all relate to how it feels when we are not doing well mentally. Imagine how much easier things could be if you were treated with patience and compassion while going through some of your hardest trials. Simply having someone consider your feelings, take you seriously and validate your experience can feel like a real blessing, and even be enough to pull you out of your funk. 

The good news is that you can be that person for others struggling with their mental health. Not only will this improve your own mental health, but you can make a significant impact on someone else's life just by following a few simple do's and don'ts. 

DO: Educate Yourself 

Doing your own research is such an underrated yet one of the most helpful things you can do for someone struggling mentally. Doing so helps you understand the scope of what someone else is going through which can assist you with how to approach helping the person. It lessens the potential for miscommunication, as learning provides understanding, allowing the struggling individual to feel seen and supported.

DON'T: Try to Fix the Problem 

Remember, that unlike a professional, you do not have the qualifications to advise someone else on what to do, or provide treatment options. You can unintentionally bring further harm to the individual and yourself. You may even suffer legal consequences, especially if things do go haywire. 

Although the desire to fix someone’s problems is admirable, it is usually safest to offer a listening ear and provide emotional support while the struggling individual navigates their situation.

DO: Offer Practical Support 

Sometimes it is appropriate to offer practical support especially if decisions have already been made and you have simply been asked to assist in taking care of mundane tasks. Running errands for someone, like grocery shopping or watching over their pet while they attend important appointments, can help lighten the load and send a clear, tangible message that they are not alone. 

Allowing struggling individuals to focus on healing while you offer this kind of support is very helpful, considering how poor mental health can negatively affect cognition, motivation, and awareness.

DON'T: Judge them

Everyone comes from different walks of life, possessing unique qualities and overcoming unique circumstances. It is not fair to judge someone as you never have the full story. The perspective you might have access to may only involve a small part of a complex situation. 

It can be easy to forget that no one is perfect. We are all human and therefore we make mistakes. Going through tough and confusing times can feel quite overwhelming and leave you feeling vulnerable. You would probably feel appreciative if someone else was sensitive to your stressful, complicated or troubling issues. 

DO: Be Patient 

It is hard enough to navigate the demands of life without additional health issues hindering your capacity to successfully execute daily tasks, let alone achieving goals and ‘living your best life’. Unfortunately for some people, this battle is a constant reality of their life which can make it incredibly difficult to perform tasks that are often perceived as  ‘simple’. 

These tasks can range from practising hygiene, eating a meal, or getting out of bed. Depending on the nature of the mental health issue, basic living can be exhausting. As a result, it can be hard for people to understand which can lead to ignorant and judgmental opinions. 

Judging someone for their situation, especially when they are struggling mentally, can be unproductive, perpetuate further harm and stigma, and is downright cruel. If you cannot understand or relate, you are in a privileged position. However, you have the power to empower others. There is no need to know all the answers but you can make a huge difference through a little act of kindness - patience.

DON'T: Overstep your Boundaries 

All your efforts to help someone will be highly appreciated, but that does not mean you are owed anything in return, including the authority to make any decisions regarding someone else's life, no matter how big or small. Doing so can create power imbalances in the relationship where one party has elected that they deserve some sort of authority over an aspect of the other person’s life. 

Even if you have good intentions, you do not have the right to overtake or overrule any decisions made by the individual who is struggling with their mental health, whether they have overcome the worst of it or are still grappling with their situation. Simply put, it is crossing boundaries which is disrespectful, unhelpful and oppressive.

DO: Encourage Seeking Professional Help 

Being there for someone is highly effective for temporary situations but encouraging professional help is always the ideal situation. It means that you have done what you can in leading the individual to access relevant services that can actually help them in ways beyond the extent of a friend. This also ensures that you are not left with all the responsibility, even if you are willing to help someone else in a tough situation. 

DON'T: Neglect Yourself

This fact is commonly overlooked, but it is crucial to remember that as generous as it is to support someone else as they undergo their mental health journey, it is vital to not forget your own mental health and your own needs. 

Sometimes you need to focus on yourself first and that is valid too. Besides, you cannot effectively be a stable and grounded support person for someone else if you are struggling to take care of yourself. Your experiences are just as important as anyone else's, so seek professional and/or personal support from others during hard times. Who knows? Maybe you will inspire someone else to seek help too. 

Lend a Helping Hand 

Supporting someone struggling with their mental health requires a delicate balance of empathy, understanding, and patience. By following these do's and don'ts, you can make a significant impact on someone else's life while protecting your own well-being. Together, we can lead by example and foster a supportive community, where we can strive to reach a future that respects the value of every individual’s mental wellbeing.