How To Ensure Self-Care When A Loved One Passes Away

Grief can be raw and messy. Each grief journey is as unique as the person who walks its path. That said, an aspect of grief that’s common to all who grieve is ensuring self-care.

People go through a variety of things—physically, emotionally, psychologically, and spiritually—when grieving. Coping with all the potential mind and body responses can be overwhelming.

However, there are some things that you can do to manage your grief while ensuring proper self-care during these difficult times in your life.

Always Be Kind To Yourself

This is a common tip whenever you feel stressed in your life, but even more so during times of grief. Grief is painful and lonely. There’s only one person capable of providing you with comfort and support 24/7: you.

Self-compassion has a tremendous healing power to all aspects of your body. Plus, it makes you nicer to be around others.

Treat yourself as you would treat your loved ones or a beloved friend—in action, thought, and words. Give yourself time and space to feel the pain of grief. Then, give yourself permission to take a break when needed.

Don’t Stress Too Much

Speaking of giving yourself a break, losing a loved one not only brings emotional pain but also several stressors such as legal issues.

When a loved one passes away, you have to deal with the business of their passing: sorting through possessions, closing financial accounts, or selling their house. In particular, taking care of their home if they don’t have a will can be quite stressful. This means that their estate will have to undergo probate.

You’d wish to ask how long does probate take and how costly is it to deal with these legal issues, among a list of other mundane concerns related to the passing. This doesn’t contribute to your well-being during these hard times.

So, go easy on yourself. If possible, consider hiring an expert who can tackle these things on your behalf. This way, you can focus more on your self-healing journey.

Don’t Forget To Eat

This may sound obvious, but it’s a fact that most people have a decreased appetite when a loved one dies. Whether it’s your stress response to grief or simply distracting yourself by getting everything done, it’s important that you don’t forget to feed yourself.

You can try setting an alarm on your phone to notify you every few hours to get something to eat or drink. You may not have an appetite or may find it difficult to swallow your food, but you should try to eat your regular three meals a day, or you won’t have the energy to make it through the day.

Consequently, you also don’t want to overeat. While some people may have reduced appetite when grieving, some resort to eating or drinking too much to distract themselves or drown their pain. Thus, consider taming your stress response by eating properly.

Move

After losing a loved one, you probably don’t have the energy to move around. You probably prefer lying on your bed and succumbing to the pain of losing someone you love and care about.

This is a normal response to death but shouldn’t go on for long. So, make time for movement. While it’s highly unlikely that you’ll want to go to the gym, you can do other physical activities to ease the tension building up in your body.

Walk around your home or your garden. Much better, go out and take a walk around your neighborhood. The fresh air and natural light can help in improving your mood and relieving stress.

You can also do a few minutes of yoga or quick stretching. Exercise can make you focus on your body and health rather than what has happened. It takes your focus elsewhere, relieves emotional pain, and increases your overall energy levels.

Practice Good Sleeping Habits

Like eating, some grieving individuals can be totally exhausted but still can’t sleep while others resort to just sleeping to forget about their pain. Too much sleep and too little sleep are both harmful.

If you take longer to fall asleep or wake up several times after falling asleep, it’s important to create a comfortable sleeping environment. Remove distractions such as phones, block out light, keep cool temperatures, and use an eye mask and earplugs if necessary.

Meanwhile, sleeping too much can be a sign of depression during grieving. When you’re grieving, getting out of your bed can seem too overwhelming. Your bed is warm and safe compared with the world that seems to be filled with sorrow, pain, and other unpleasant things. However, it doesn’t contribute to your overall well-being.

So, don’t use sleep to cope with grief. Set up an alarm to wake you up at specific times and avoid oversleeping. Fight the urge to stay in bed. Stand up and move around to energize your body, preventing lethargy.

Take A Self-Care Trip

If you want a change of pace from your normal routine, consider taking a self-care trip. Leaving town to see new sceneries can make a huge difference and prevent you from being constantly reminded of your lost loved one.

That said, a self-care trip doesn’t have to be costly. You can drive to the next town and go sightseeing. Go camping or enjoy the nearest beach. The goal here is to get away from your regular schedule and take the time to do something just for yourself.

Treat Yourself

Pampering or treating yourself is another way to care for yourself when grieving. Simple things such as taking a hot bath or shower can help make you feel refreshed.

You can treat yourself at home by having a spa night with facial masks. Add a few drops of essential oils or bathrooms to your bathtub and soak there for as long as you want. Not only can this benefit your skin, but also boost your mood. It allows you to create a safe space where you can be mindful and connect with yourself while disconnecting from the pain and suffering that you’re experiencing after a loss.

Maintain Interaction

One of the most important things you can do for your mental and physical well-being when grieving is to connect with other people who care about you or those who are also grieving like you.

Don’t hide from your family and friends, and open up to them about your feelings and emotions. You can go for a walk with your family or schedule a lunch date with a friend to talk about your grieving journey or keep your mind off the pain.

If your family or friends can’t provide the full support you need, you can also turn to other people who are experiencing the same situation. Grief support groups can be incredibly beneficial. They can share and understand your pain. Look for a group with which you share a common interest or hobby beyond grieving. This allows you to enjoy and share activities with new friends who understand your position, helping each other to build a new normal after losing someone.

Also, if necessary, you can consult a grief expert or psychologist. These experts can help you handle your emotions and feelings associated with the death of your loved one.

Create A Dedicated Mourning Space

Consider choosing a dedicated space where you can go when everything suddenly becomes overwhelming or you simply want to mourn alone.

It doesn’t matter if it’s outdoors or indoors, the most important thing is that it’s a peaceful space for contemplation that’s dedicated exclusively to your needs. You can retreat to this space several times a week, honoring your journey through grief.

You can also start and end your day in this space with prayer or meditation. You can repeat a simple prayer or phrase of gratitude and appreciation to yourself.

Practice Deep Breathing

Deep breathing, also known as diaphragmatic breathing, can help you deal with anxiety, stress, anger, and tension, especially during times of grieving. What’s more, you can do it almost anywhere or whenever you feel overwhelmed by your emotions.

You can simply find a quiet place where you’ll not be easily distracted. You can sit on a chair or lie on the floor. Slowly breathe in through your nose. Then breathe out through your mouth, while picturing all the tension and stress leaving your body.

Do this five times a day or whenever you feel stressed. You’ll notice how much more relaxed and calm you feel after a few minutes of controlled breathing.

Takeaway

Losing a loved one is never easy as it puts your world to a painful stop. During these difficult times, it’s important to be kind to yourself more than ever.

Give yourself as much time as you need to grieve, but don’t forget to take care of yourself. Follow the above tips and find other activities that can help bring back your glow and lead you to finally reach acceptance.