How To Help Senior Parents Maintain Their Dignity

There are several challenges adult children face as their parents reach an advanced age. It's normal to feel concerned about their health and wellness while battling the roller coaster of emotions that happen with such a profound role reversal. These issues are often exacerbated by conflicting opinions in the family unit, financial and mental stress, and contradictory priorities and responsibilities.

With all of the noise, it's easy to lose sight of what matters the most: dignity. Here are some key considerations and practical applications to help your senior parents maintain their dignity as they age.

Encourage Autonomy in Health-Related Decisions

Helping a parent maintain their autonomy during medical appointments and care plans can be a struggle. Many seniors feel unheard in medical settings; their opinions, and knowledge of their own bodies undermined. As the child of an aging parent, it's normal to want to step in and advocate for your loved one to ensure they receive the care they deserve. While this goal is altruistic and often necessary, it also signals a loss of privacy and autonomy.

Help your parent maintain their autonomy in health-related decisions. Help them by asking questions and seeking clarity to help them understand their options — not to make decisions for them.

There may come a time when your loved one requires your medical decision-making. It's imperative to have an open dialogue before that time comes and discuss what they want and need. Consider discussing the legalities of choosing a Power of Attorney or medical proxy. Encourage your loved one to create an Advanced Directive to ensure their desires are met.

Explore Dignity-Centric Continuing Care Options

When the time comes that your parent requires more assistance for daily living, choose your support options with care. Determine what's needed now, and outline any future support needs.

According to the experts at Riddle Village, many seniors have years of independence ahead of them, requiring nothing more than a supportive community. As time goes on, they may grow to require additional care and assistance. Finding one location with scaleable options helps minimize disruption and distress.

Prioritize finding care providers who hold dignity and autonomy in high regard. Look for signs of joy and engagement as you tour retirement communities and continuing care facilities.

Improve Accessibility and Safety at Home

There are many things you can do to help your senior parent stay home longer. See to improve accessibility and safety in their home so that they can maintain their dignity and independence for longer.

For example, adding non-slip rugs, shower bars, and lever handles are simple upgrades for when mobility and balance becomes a concern. You can also teach your senior parent how to use a home assistant and other technologies to help play music, set reminders, control the temperature, and make life a little easier.

Don't Take Over

Some people are natural solvers. They see a problem and immediately jump in to fix it or become impatient with someone else's efforts and take over.

It's OK to want to solve problems for your aging parent, but it's not OK to take over everything and steal their independence from them before they're ready to relinquish it.

Maintain an open dialogue, outline your concerns, and offer solutions. When you feel impatient, take a breath and wait before responding. Learn the art of compromise and respect your parent's boundaries.

Practice Active Listening and Empathy

Finally, learn to engage in active listening — listening to understand rather than listening to respond. Give your parent time to express themselves without finishing sentences or making assumptions. When they're done speaking, ask clarifying questions and summarize to ensure you understand while validating their feelings.

Their concerns or barriers may seem ridiculous to you, but consider how you would feel if you couldn't hop in the car and drive to the store anymore. Consider how you'd feel if someone wanted you to leave the place you've called home for decades. Eventually, sacrifices will have to be made, but being an empathetic, compassionate support person throughout is worth the effort.

Empathy and love are always worth it.